Heartbroken

Im hurt.. my heart is dying..
Im trying to be happy front of my family and friends.. but i don't know why.. i will lost control when i look at alycia. maybe i put too much hope on him. I tot we can manage it.

I thought we can grow old together.. but why.. Suddenly everything change !

The night u confess to me.. I know u meant it when you say you love me.. Its not the kind of best friend or sister like you say. I thought we gonna get marry ..

I can feel it.. i can feel it you always trying to avoid having time alone with me.. you rather ask your friend to accompany you ... Maybe its my problem.. You don't love me at all... I always lying myself..

Im waiting u to come back from Indonesia. I thought this is just a short distance between us. But who knows. After two days..

DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL WHEN I SAW ESTHER ARARA WROTE THOSE STATUS !!!!!!!!
DO YOU KNOW !! IM YOUR GF TOO ! BUT WHY THE GAL SAYING TAT SHE IS YOUR GF TOO ! DO YOU KNOW HOW HURT I AM !

The most regret decision i had made in my entire whole life is TO STAY MIRI JUST BECAUSE OF YOU ! and I've hurt my best sister ! I know she very disappointed on me.. I really don't know how to apologize to her...

I HATE YOU SO MUCH... I HATE YOU FOR WHY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH...
I treat you like you are my world.. I sacrifice so many .. My friends scolded me. I thought they don't understand. But Im wrong !!!!!!!

In fact im the one who always WRONG !
I always made the wrong wrong wrong decision !!!!!!
You said you will give me your heart. You say you will truly love me !
But in the end !!!! WHAT DID YOU GAVE ME WONG KO LIANG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whenever i reached home.. I so scare... I so scare mommy will suddenly talk about you.. I don't know how to explain to her that we are over !

Sometimes I really feels like I want to get off from here.. Im tired... I wanna get rest....

The more I love you.. The more I hate you..

At first, there is no more hate in my life.. i live my life happily.. But now! my heart full of hate !
I feel so insecure ! and I feel so scare of myself !!!!

Oh LORD.. please be with me ... Please...